THE BULLSHITTER

So I have been dropped into an interesting situation......again.  I began dating a very attractive young lady recently and things have been going marvelously.  Until one fine evening she drops the bomb on me and tells me she has herpes...and  Whammo!  So like any so like any Private Investigating Junior Detective......Scout.....In-Law...(????) I got on WebMD (the number one resource for anything medical under the sun, however it can lead you to some drastic conclusions and should never replace a real-life doctor) and began doing some research on this little bug.........

My initial reaction was stone-cold sobering.  I, like anyone else in that situation, of course jump on the negative freight-train and start assuming the worst.  However, I did not react that way to her, because she is quite special and I don't judge if someone has a slip-up because it could happen to anyone.  So after doing my research, I found that it's not nearly as bad as most of us think it is.  I myself was completely oblivious to the facts about herpes and realize it's merely a nuisance than much of a danger.  Then it dawned on me that the only thing that is that terrible about herpes is its name.  So i've come up with ten names that would better suit this horrible sounding virus (which by the way is incurable......that's right, for life.....).  Seriously, the name "herpes" sounds to me like "the pecker flesh eating virus".  So lets try these on for size....

10 BETTER NAMES FOR HERPES:

1.  Happies

2.  Gumdrop Fever

3.  The 365 and 1/4 day a year gift

4.  The Bunny Yawns (cute huh?)

5.  Lovers quarrel (stern yet meaningful)

6.  The helping hand (can I give YOU a hand?)

7.  Raspberry Sparkles

8.  Love's Intercourse Remorse

9.  California Dreams

10. Peek-a-boo

I feel strongly that these names would make people with Gumdrop Fever feel much more accepted and would help people be less embarrassed and coerse them to tell the people that they've slept with about the danger that they may be in.  But really, who doesn't want some Bunny Yawns in their life?  I know I could sure go for some.  Of course, statistically speaking, 1 in 4 women has it, 1 in 5 men have it, and 90% of all people who have it don't even know it.  So if you get a little Peek-a-boo every now and again, go see your friendly physician and he can give you a helping hand.....I mean he can help you out....

The Bullshitter~

Hee-Haw Gifts