Today's Bullshit: How to become a terror suspect
After all the mumbo jumbo about the terror plot that was thwarted yesterday, you may be asking yourself "Self, how can I become an elite terror suspect?". Well, there are many roundabout ways to the top of the food chain, but here is a fast-track list of things you can do to get a leg up on the competition.....
10 WAYS TO BECOME A TERRORIST SUSPECT:
1. Slowly walk by airport security guards, and if any of them look at you, flee to the nearest exit yelling "In the name of Allah!!!".
2. Walk up to everyone you see and tell them that your name is Muhammad al Ameen and ask them if they know where the "Muslims against America" meeting is tonight.
3. Go to your local College or University and ask them if they offer any classes in Skyscraper Aviation.
4. IF you actually make it onto a plane, as you go to take your seat, introduce yourself to everyone on the plane one at a time and say "I'll see you at the bottom".
5. Order numerous credit cards in the name of Muhammad al __________________ (fill in blank with anything with a Islamic twist) and go make numerous purchases for peroxide, gun powder, fertilizer, cameras and make long distance phone calls to random people the Middle East and just set the phone down and stay on the line.
6. Send a post card to George W. Bush that says "Hi, my name is Muhammad al _________________ , and next week I am going to hijack one plane from every airport in the world all at the same time........BY MY SELF!!!"
7. Stand out in front of the airport and start shooting artillery shells at cab drivers.
8. Grow a maingy and strung out beard, go to the airport and try to check your missle at the front desk.
9. Run out onto the runway, and shout like a maniac that your name is Muhammad al _________________ , and then go try to stop a jet engine with your face in the name of Allah.
10. Get half-way through airport security, set your bag down, and take off running while plugging your ears.
This should get you exactly where you aspire to be as a terror suspect. Good luck!
The Bullshitter~
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Comment by aza spade— 2006/08/11 @ 06:36 AM — (Reply)
Comment by MOS— 2006/08/16 @ 07:33 AM — (Reply)
13. Be a dickhead.
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/08/16 @ 05:13 PM — (Reply)
15. Eat your own shit.....and like it.
Comment by The Bullshitter— 2006/08/17 @ 10:22 AM — (Reply)
17.BELEIVING THAT A PLANE THAT HAS THE WING SPAN OF OVER 100FT. HIT THE PENTAGON LEAVING A 14 FT. HOLE
Comment by MOS— 2006/08/17 @ 12:19 PM — (Reply)
Comment by The Bullshitter— 2006/08/17 @ 12:22 PM — (Reply)
19. Wearing horns in public.
Comment by Barry G.— 2006/08/17 @ 06:08 PM — (Reply)
Comment by The Bullshitter— 2006/08/18 @ 06:59 AM — (Reply)
Anyway, good luck to your endeavors…All the best and Keep it up!!!=)
Ford wheels
Comment by angelcentaur— 2007/10/17 @ 04:42 PM — (Reply)