THE BULLSHITTER

So I have been dropped into an interesting situation......again.  I began dating a very attractive young lady recently and things have been going marvelously.  Until one fine evening she drops the bomb on me and tells me she has herpes...and  Whammo!  So like any so like any Private Investigating Junior Detective......Scout.....In-Law...(????) I got on WebMD (the number one resource for anything medical under the sun, however it can lead you to some drastic conclusions and should never replace a real-life doctor) and began doing some research on this little bug.........

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In light of yesterday's post about the new blockbuster of the century "Snakes on a Plane", I tossed and turned last night trying to imagine how ON EARTH all those damn snakes were able to get on board that aircraft in the first place.  I mean, it's quite the quandry if you ask this guy......and believe me, I would ask THIS guy, because he is just overflowing with useless knowledge on topics just like this-a-juan...........here we go.....

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I can't believe what the fuck I am seeing on TV previews these days for scary movies. It looks like they finally stopped running images and noises through a blender to add for the ever-so-spooky distortion=hell effect, and finally just went to snakes......on a plane. SNAKES ON A PLANE?!!! Are you fisting me? Apparently they just stopped trying to create morphed and morbid ideas and went strictly with "We're going to take a phobia of some sort....and put it on a......plane......?". I took zero time (i.e. time stopped when I did this because it was so fucking easy) to come up with 5 sequals that will be coming to a theater and wallet near you.

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After all the mumbo jumbo about the terror plot that was thwarted yesterday, you may be asking yourself "Self, how can I become an elite terror suspect?".  Well, there are many roundabout ways to the top of the food chain, but here is a fast-track list of things you can do to get a leg up on the competition.....

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Today is a void day for me, but new stuff is up on this other guy that I personally think is funny enough to make the biggest tight-ass poop in his drawers.  So come check out what Tricky Dick and Johnny Depth have to say today.  It's two dueling back and forth on two topics a week, so be sure to return regularly and see what's been added.  Really funny shit...

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So I was thinking of starting up a band and travelling the Universe and rejoice in song and rhyme.  We had the style, we had the music in our souls, and we had the funk aura amongst us that was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  However, there was one thing we were lacking.....and that was a name.  So I sat down and wrote down some possibilities.... 

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I have come up with a financially bullet-proof plan.  This plan is to have a Title Bout between Bush and Hussein.........my plan goes as follows.......click the link and prepare to be amazed..

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If you know anything, you know there are two kinds of people in this world --- Those who don't like NASCAR, and Idiots.  I digress.....

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Hi all.  The past few months have been a wild ride.  I am now a resident of Seattle, WA.  It's been a little transition, but I am ready to fire this blogging bitch back up and take her for all she's worth.  I was on the top at one time, but my lack of dedication due to my move and graduation has taken my attention elsewhere and I feel like I owe some considerable apology.  So I think I will take time today to bitch about co-workers......yeehaw.

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