THE BULLSHITTER

I have been absent for a really long time.  Things have been hectic......in between now and then a lot has been happening.  Vegas...........St. Patty's......a lot of drinking......and a lot of sex.  I will tell you all about it.........................not really.........you just saw all you needed to see.  So how about some stupidity for this day....the day of sunday stupidity......

10 things that have happened since we last spoke:

1.  Spring Break in Vegas:  Made out with 4 different girls.....took 2 home.......had sex with 1.

2.  The girl that I had sex with actually was from the same college town as me.....which goes on to prove what happens in Vegas doesn't actually stay there....

3.  Between Me and two buddies......we successfully wrecked a decade worth of relationships in one night.....my buddy had a two year GF, the girl I slept with had a 3 year BF....and the third girl had a 2 year BF also.  You're right....that's only 8 years, but it's still impressive.

4.  We flew back to Denver and got home at 4:00 a.m.  I drank that day to delay the hangover that was inevitably going to happen.......and apparently I needed one more drink because I had to hang onto a vomit for the final 20 miles.  Mouth watering, stomach ready to burst.......I was able to wait and power puke in my own front yard.  Going to once again prove that what is drank in Vegas......stays in my front yard.

5.  Went out dressed like a pimp last night...........turns out I was too drunk to be much of a "Ho runner".

6.  Told my parents that I was diagnosed with testicular cancer for April fools....but left the message on the 31st to play it safe.  Turns out they went out and got drunk that night....didn't get my message until the next morning.  On a funnier note....they bought it......I told them immediately that I was joking.  My dad called me a cocksucker......but eventually laughed.

7.  Had sex with a girl while she was talking to her boyfriend on the phone.....he was being an asshole to her and I didn't like it.  Take that fucker!

8.  Had two girls sleeping in my bed all night and I wasn't there............only because I was sleeping with another one at her house....

9.  Had to make my ex-girlfriend cry because she went friend hunting to try to get my attention......turns out one of my friends was stupid enough to take her home.  If there's one thing I hate more than mushrooms.......it's sluts.

10.  Almost had sex with a girl that is 6'6".........the most gorgeous sasquatch I have ever seen.

Bye.

The Bullshitter~  CHECK OUT THESE REALLY GREAT SHIRTS>>>>>>I HATE SLUTS!!<<<<<<<<<<