THE BULLSHITTER

So I had a run-in with my ex-girlfriend.  It turns out we conveniently broke it off the day before valentines day.  I DIDN'T DUMP HER!!!! So all of you women need to sit back down in your cubicles and put your stress balls away.  I know you just looked over at Susan and you were like "Oh my gosh!  You have to read this!  This guys is such a loser, read this.....this is the type of guy I loathe."  Well I didn't break it off....I guess I just threw up a really convincing line of evidence that made sense to her at the time to break it off....so you and Susan can go eat rug.....and I'll watch....

So as I previously mentioned, we ran into each other.  Not LITERALLY, because my moment of inertia greatly out-"inershes" hers....so she's lucky, else I would moment her out of the freakin' park.  She decides to inform me of everything I did wrong in the past 4 months......then she proceeds to say that she knows it's her fault (I TOLD you, i'm really good!).  She then informs me that she went through my email and saw an email to a friend of mine(a guy).  It was after the first night we had hung out, and I had a girlfriend that I loathed.  So we had met, and actually had sex that very first night (yeah, I cheated...).  BUT DON'T get me wrong~  She's not really like that.  But I told my friend about this, but I didn't put it all fuzzy and warmly.  I said that we "fucked".  BAD choice of words apparently.

For some reason, the "ladies" get a little jumpy when their guy says that he "fucked her".  I mean, it will pretty much ruin their weekend if you say it like that ANYTIME besides during sex, then they turn into a SACK MANIAC. (Write that down)  I was told that it's more polite to say "we made love".  So I told her, I know we made love, it was just guy talk.  But she didn't buy it and started telling me what a piece of shit I was.  So decided this was the time to really let lose with my feelings......get ready to be emotional....

I told her to "go make love" to herself.  I can't "making love" stand you and your run-around beat around the bush "i'm going to be mad just because it's fun" bullshit.  If you can't be happy then why don't you go play hide and "make love" to yourself, because i'm abso-"made love"-lutely sick of your "love making" bullshit. 

We don't talk to each other anymore.

Happy Friday~

The Bullshitter via Hee-Haw Gifts