THE BULLSHITTER

I was sitting in my room feeling lonely and sorry for myself today.  That immediately made me think of other lonely people....and what they do to pass the time.  This all led me to thinking about the loneliest person in the world....Osama Bin Laden.  So I put myself in his shoes and thought i'd see what I came up with.  Not literally in his shoes....more or less after the whole "i'm a giant douchebag that likes to ruin peoples lives because i'm a miserable prick" stage.  So I compiled a list of things I would do to pass the time, if I were Osama....

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So I had a run-in with my ex-girlfriend.  It turns out we conveniently broke it off the day before valentines day.  I DIDN'T DUMP HER!!!! So all of you women need to sit back down in your cubicles and put your stress balls away.  I know you just looked over at Susan and you were like "Oh my gosh!  You have to read this!  This guys is such a loser, read this.....this is the type of guy I loathe."  Well I didn't break it off....I guess I just threw up a really convincing line of evidence that made sense to her at the time to break it off....so you and Susan can go eat rug.....and I'll watch....

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I sat down to write this week.  I sat down and I wanted to write everything that hadn't been written before.  I sat down and realized that even though I aspired to do all these wonderful verbal things and throw dainty vernacular and catchphrases out to tickle your little minds and thoughts, I was incapable of that today.  I have nothing to write about today, and there's nothing I can do about it.....let me explain...

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I'm SORRY!!!!!  Stop yelling at me for being the non-blogging slacker that I am.  I went out and celebrated Singles Awareness Day (SAD - ironically because I think I was the happiest guy around) and drank a whole lot of tall beers, and then drank more beers to make sure the other ones had some company.  So just because I haven't been blogging....doesn't mean I haven't been thinking.  So here are some things that have been rolling around in the ol' noodle recently...

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