THE BULLSHITTER

So I might be moving to Seattle when I graduate.....alright, enough about me, let's talk about you....and your thoughts.....and what makes you tick....and what stops you from ticking....and what makes that ticking sound......and why it makes a ticking sound.......and why I want to know why it makes a ticking sound......and why sound exsists.....and BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I would like to post a note that I wrote to the student paper after a tragic accident which occured on campus.....and i was responsible.  The following is the exact article as posted in the paper, with my sincere apology to the students who witnessed this horrifying display of carelessness....

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I don't normally just rant about things.....well, I do....but today is special.  I have compiled a quick ditty about some of the things in this world that straight up drive me fucking crazy, or that I have absolutely no explanation for why they happen.  When these things happen, I want to pretty much go try to fornicate with a grizzly bear.......so without further adieu....

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My latest adventure involved a trip to the University gym to try to shed a few of those holiday pounds.  To my delight I was able to hit a treadmill and in doing so, take time to observe the usual workout clientele.  You have your usual workout-aholics, who go there for the sole purpose to work their asses off.  These people are rare, and should be commended on a job well done.  You then have the socialites.  This is a rather politically correct term for these people......who I would rather refer to as jackoffs who are solely there to pickup dates and look good....or something?  But my all-time favorites, are no doubt, the Meat-heads........

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So this last episode seems to have hit a brick wall.  My final semester of college has officially begun, therefore I have to put all available efforts into this final college hurrah!  Which technically means.....well.....my "best effort" before was about 8.7% of my full personal potential.....so if we double that, I would no doubt have an early-age heart attack.  So we can maybe top off that 8.7% and if I search really hard, I can round it to the whole number of 9.0%.  So it is, I am going to go all out and throw a whopping 9.0% of potential effort at this last semester......which is also a personal record of effort towards anything......on to the final christmas tale...

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Thus far in our journey, we have traversed the Andes.......sailed 6 of the 7 seas, and eaten a stack of tasty cakes that would make the pillsbury dough boy blush.  The last time we talked, Steven had dumped Stephanie for Tracy, but Tracy used to be Troy (unknowingly to Steven).  Terry stole Jessie's bike and sold it to Javier (ironic?), but Jeff decided that he wasn't cool with that, and he was all "Dude, NOT cool!", and Javier was like "But i'm just trying to make a buck", and right as they were arguing, Superman flew in and stole little Dominique's lollypop.....and the journey continues forward..........

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So I come from a relatively small town of 7,000.  I don't make it home much because, quite frankly, there's nothing worth going home to besides family which now is pretty much spread all over the map.  But when I do, I make it a point to go into to the one bar that I may run into anyone I know......so I do this, but there's always the other shit-heads I have to see that I don't want to see.  So instead of going there later in the evening, my father and I go in around 4:15........

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So Christmas has subsided.  Whoopie doo.  I got some shit, gave some shit, and then pretty much gave A shit the rest of the time.  I guess I also took a shit here and there, but that's a fairly consistent variable during the 7 day binge I call "the Holidays".  I had some rather interesting run-ins with some rather not-interesting people.  The next few blogs will be my holiday saga, which I will break into three or four parts because they will be so jam-packed with cool shit......Part 1...

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