THE BULLSHITTER

WOW!!!!!  It's been ridiculously busy around here.  Finals week was last week......and it always makes me hate myself, and learning in general....the week before is celebrated as "scramble to finish all final projects and/or homework", so I haven't been able to get it done in the blogosphere.  I normally wouldn't let school get in the way of my education, but I only need 8 credits to graduate......so I have to take a temporary leave of absence from being an assclown to make sure I get the hell out of here on time.  That being said, I apologize for my absence.....BUT I'M BACK!!!  So now, on to my skiing weekend.........

In order to fall back to my awesome self, I took a weekend of drunken debauchery and skiing to the tourist infested township of Steamboat Springs, Colorado...(uh oh, I just gave a hint of my location.....) which is about a 2 hour drive from here (uh oh, another hint....you're getting warmer....).  So I head there with my GF on Saturday morning.  I actually didn't even get bombed on friday night so I could be in tip-top downhill shape.  I haven't kept track, but I think this is the first time i've made that trip NOT hungover as all hell, which is a lofty goal within itself. 

The day begins with a mind-numbing 6:00 a.m. alarm wake-up.  I use my cellphone alarm since my normal one is broken, and I think that is simply from over-use.  I had this alarm clock that made soothing nature sounds to wake a person up instead of the loss-of-bowel-control inducing screams that most of them make.  What made me switch was the fact that I almost strangled my best friend when my alarm went off once because I was so disoriented I thought I was being kidnapped......but that's neither here nor there.  So, one day my alarm clock stopped making nature sounds and started making satan sounds.......or the birds became possessed.  Needless to say, i'm not sure what their message was, but it WASN'T cool.  I'm not cool with satan birds.  Maybe they caught the bird flu???  I heard it's fairly contageous, but I wasn't aware it could be passed from real, living birds, to artificial alarm clock ones.....i'm kind of scared now.

We get our shit together, and get out of town by 7:30.  I get completely hopped-up on coffee and the drive is pretty much a blur.  My girlfriend has the knack of only listening to 4 cds on any trip we take.  I decide to make fun of her for this fact, and she gets pissed off at me for making fun of her choice of music.  An awkward 20 minute silence ensues.  I get us there, and she sort of calms down.  SORT OF.  We get up to the mountain and it's pretty cold, but the snow is fresh and falling, and the powder is accumulating.  I'm a powder hound, i.e. I absolutely love hitting up some dense tree/deep powder action.  However, my girlfriend likes the flats a little more and i'm ok with this fact.  I take her down a few runs, and everything is going good.  I have to wait for her, but i'm ok with this also.....so i'd ski a ways, and wait, ski....wait.  Turns out, this isn't good enough, i'm suppose to ski beside her so she doesn't feel rushed.....luckily for me she doesn't point this fact out until we are driving home yesterday.......because fixing it right away would have been way to easy and convenient for anyone.  And I love pissy little fights over absolutely nothing......especially right before the holidays.... 

Needless to say, the rest of my weekend consisted of.............

Drinking lots, eating 25 chicken wings (and 20 more when I got home, turns out i'm a big fan), ski 2 amazing days of powder, which is currently still falling so i'm going to blow work off on wednesday and hit the slopes again, being mad at for 48 consecutive hours, and eating a large strawberry milkshake too fast and throwing up.

Things I learned this weekend:

a) Spicey Barbeque chicken wings are my new favorite food.

b) Hot hot wings make my nose run and make me want to cut my tongue off.

c) If my girlfriend forgets her razor, she is able to shave her legs with my electric face shaver.  Though not the closest cut, a shave non-the-less that will still suffice.

d) Getting drunk and talking to my GF's mom on the phone isn't the best idea.

e) and I quote "If it has tits or tires you're going to have trouble with it....."

See ya soon,

The Bullshitter~

HEE-HAW Gifts