THE BULLSHITTER

So, as I dwell in the murky depths of what I like to call "friday at work", I've begun to ponder many a thought.  Why is the sky blue?  Why does my left ear itch so bad?  Where exactly us Uzbekistan and why didn't they name it Uzbekisteve or Uzbekiandwheredidshego?   Why was my vomit turqoise last night and how can I get that to happen every time I vomit?  These answers and many more.................

Some of you are probably thinking, "The Kama Sutra of the oh-so-wise Bullshitter must consist of a set of sexual encyclopedias written in sanscrit, full of colors and romance languages.......and smiley faces."  I appreciate your candor, but you are so very wrong.  I've realized the Kama Sutra of my friday is a poster (the size is up to you, depending on how close you want the detail, i'd go with the 22" x 34" because Kinkos has a sale right now.), yes, simply a poster....and there's only one position on the poster.  It's not very exciting, and consists of my grabbing my ankles while all authoritative obstacles in my life deny me my entrance into their private club....... 

FOR THE RECORD:  Shit, balls, ass, bitch, crap, crappy, crappier, and crappiest....and while i'm at it why not include the Crappie, and hopefully your kids don't end up being one of THESE.  You're probably wondering why I had the obligatory rant of "G-rated" swear words and fish links....well here's the thing.  I've realized that my swear word ratio has gone down on my blog, and instead of saying "fuck" in my blog, I say it on the phone with my parents.  How this switcharoo happened, i'm not sure, but i'm trying to reverse the process...thank you for understanding.....fuckers, NOT YOU....YOU.

.....So like I said, my friday Kama Sutra has been PRETTY GLORIOUS today.  But you're right, i'd probably avoid the 22" x 34" poster of that, because i'm pretty sure it's a "from behind" shot, so as you can imagine NOT PRETTY.  (Not that I don't have a voluptuous derriere.)  But there may be a nice fruitbasket shot if you're into that type of thing......sick bastards.

I really haven't went to the depth that I'd like for what makes me so bitter at authority today......I'll just leave it at this.....

1.)  Got a parking ticket at 7:30 am, yelled at cop.....cop yelled back, cop wins.  Me: 0, Authority:1

2.)  Professor in HDL gives a quiz, says that if we don't know this material yet, we're pretty much derelicts.  I do not know the material, and fail the quiz.  DERELICTS: 0 , AUTHORITY: 2

3.)  Boss says that "the deadline for yadda yadda must be met".  I hear "blah dead-blah blah yadda yadda blah blah blah".  I told him I prefer not to handle anything deceased due to my religious nature and respect I have for all things of passing. (impressive huh?).  Boss rants at me and mumbles "kids these days...", and I mumbled back "Kids THOSE days".....  DERELICT KIDS: 0 , AUTHORITY: 3

SO...that's about the gist of it all.  I've realized that I need to run for something, maybe president of BlogHI or something....start small, maybe aim for the White House in a few......I haven't drawn it up yet, but I'll need some support.....and interns.

I better go, I have to plot some revenge.....

Have a useful existence,

The Bullshitter~

HEE-HAW GIFTS