THE BULLSHITTER

Today's Topic:  Bosses and Supervisors......relate with me for a moment.

So, i'm pretty fresh in the workplace and the office drama and bullshit that is involved.  I have seen it on television, with your "office space" types of movies presumably over-dramatized happenings of office life.  However, after spending a few years witnessing it, I realize how tacky and depressing a lot of the business world really is.  So let me fly through some of the observations I have picked up on in the past few years of work......and why I think some of you assholes do what you do, which is piss me off.

THE WORKFORCE FOODCHAIN:

I have noticed, in the workforce food-chain, the closer to the bottom you are the more pissed off you are about the top of the food chain.  The closer you are to the top of the food chain the higher the probability that you forgot what realistic demands are, therefore you expect inconceivable goals to be reached just because you (or your upper-management assclown buddies ) have the ridiculous ability to dream them up.

If you're at the bottom of the food chain, you will constantly bitch about anyone above you on the foodchain, however you have a sudden memory lapse as soon as you pass them in the chain.  At this point in time, you seem to transform as follows:  Before, you had simple, common-sense approaches for all of the problems that nobody could seem to figure out, and you would constantly say things like "If I were supervisor I would blah blah blah".  Now, you suddenly lose all of the steam you had, and turn into another ass-kissing guru that is now just trying to hold his place on foodchain.  What the hell is this all about?  I've seen this one far too many times.  All that appears to be important to you is to kiss just enough ass that you can keep your job, instead of being successful at doing your goddamn job.  It saddens me to see people worry more about pleasing the boss through ass-patting instead of pleasing the boss by being a competent employee.

I watched 3 new supervisors start their new jobs the same week.  They all had to work together, however they all were too scared shitless too make any decisions regarding the place I worked.  Don't get me wrong, they all had the necessary experience to make a call.....but instead had meeting after meeting talking about what should happen, instead of making it happen.  I hate these people, and they deserve an 3 hours with Richard Simmons(sp?) per day until either they join the circus, or quit being a no-ball pussy loser.  When did management become so unmanageable?  I heard these lines a lot when overhearing their discussions.."Well, we'd like to do that, but we're in a tough spot..." or "Well, i'm new, and I just want to make the right call", or "I like it up the tailpipe sir".  Ok, I might have ridiculously dreamed that last one up.....so I guess I'm turning into supervisor material.

I don't like nice people....wait, wait.  I like people that are courteous, fair, and thoughtful.  I abso-goddamn-lutely HATE people that fake these traits though.  Fake smiles, fake laughs, and fake thoughtfulness lead to lack of ability and lack of competence.  You can't please everybody.....face it.  If you could please everyone at the same time, you wouldn't be managing your local Wal-Mart, you would be The President.....of the country numbnuts, not of your local Wal-Mart.  You may be able to hang onto your job being everybody's buddy, and giving out hugs and smiles....but you will not develop as a leader......you will however become an expert kiss-ass.....so that's something you can be proud of.

All in all, i'm too tired to even start on a solution rant.  The only solution is to move to a cabin in the middle of the woods, become a hippie, and not talk to people......so I better get going....