THE BULLSHITTER

So, i'm back.  A long finals week, followed by a week long whiskey blizzard has had me side tracked for the past couple weeks.  However, i'm back to bless you with my 22 years of wisdom...on that note:

Our new source of random quotes for me to tab with assclown comments:

http://wisdomtoday.com (thanks kids)

 

1.  "You can't paint a "Mona Lisa" by assigning one dab to a thousand painters" -William F. Buckley Jr.

Oh contraire Mr. Buckley!  Because any self-righteous computer nerd could tell you: "In this day and age, computers run the world, therefore 1 dab = 1 pixel.....therefore, you could theoretically load your image into your paintshop, paint one pixel, forward it to your "girlfriendless, living at home, PSP playing" 28 year old buddy, and he could do the same thing.  Until ultimately you had flown through a loop of technologically enhanced, yet socially challened Bill Gatesish type of people that have recreated a Mona Lisa. 

Of course, knowing these types of people, you would probably get some mistranslation of Mona.  There's always going to be the few and the proud who would probably "pixel-tattoo" something derogatory onto the painting.  I myself would probably fall face first into this category of awesomeness.  My mother might frown, but i'd be willing to be the "revolutionary modern thinker-type" to put a goober in her nose........or, leave a nice....spot of something that only I would know what it was........like Wasabi Sauce or something....

Then I would for sure be 10 times cooler than any of you, because really, who could accurately pick out a spot of Wasabi sauce on a computer animated Mona Lisa?  That's what I thought.....bitch. 

Then again, I'm pretty sure I don't know how to computer generate a spot of Wasabi.....probably would just be a green square.

2.  "There are two kinds of people:  the ones who have to be told, and the ones who figure it out all by  themselves" - Tom Clancy

I'm pretty sure there are more than 2 kinds of people.  True, there may be 1.)  The ones who have to be told, and 2.)  The ones who figure it out all by themselves......but there are also...

3.)  The ones who had to be told, but later on when asked to do it again, had to ask again....

4.)  The ones who were too intoxicated to remember what they were told.....or completely rearange what they were told..

5.)  Assholes:  Who, no matter how many times you tell them, they won't believe you.

This list is endless.....but I think you get the idea......and if you don't, you are technically a #5~ 

3.  "He who does not prevent a crime when he can, encourages it." - Seneca

First off, is Seneca any close relative to Selena?  Or is that just a coincidence?  Or am I just a moron babbling about nothing?  I know, I know....shutup #5.  This is a partial truth, but what about "He who doesn't know right from wrong", or "He who didn't know at the time, this was a crime". 

I mean, if your buddy Charley says "hey #5, let's go write our phone numbers on Lucy's face", and you being the loyal friend you are would say "Oh, sure, that sounds like it would be a neat trick".  Sounds "somewhat" innocent right?  WRONG!  Turns out your friend Charley tackles Lucy (assault), begins writing his number on her face in a ballpoint pen that has run out of ink.  And you're like "What the fuck chuck?", but by then it's too late.  All for an innocent prank that turned out to be not-so-innocent. 

And of course, you and Chuck were easy to track down....since you WERE writing your phone numbers on her face.....dumbasses.  But, like they say:  "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting beside you saying "damn, we fucked up".

*A bullshitting comeback of magnitudes inconceivable to your imaginer!*