THE BULLSHITTER

1.  A Time to think:  "Peace begins with a gentle smile"-Anonymous

2.  A Time to Act:  "Make someone's day.  Tell them how much you appreciate them"

3.  A Time to Pray:  "Dear Father, teach me how to share your kindness with everyone I meet"

****************** Please keep arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times ***********************

1.  "Peace begins with a gentle smile" - Anonymous

Apparently some peace-loving hippie wrote today's wisdom.  I'd like you to name the last time peace started with a gentle smile.  How about a war.....how about a Bush war?  I don't think The President had a gentle smile when he started bombing.......it had to have either been a smirk, or a "Let's kick some ass!".  This example might be a little extreme.

How about when you're having a heart-attack?  I can't speak from experience (yet), but if I were to have a heart attack, I wouldn't treat it like a cruise through the bahamas.  Nope, not me boy, I do believe I would probably be beating on my chest like King Kong and have a look similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger from Total Recall.....such as this one.....not this one.  Doesn't that look peaceful? 

Maybe I'm getting the notion of peace all wrong, but I believe that these are the early stages of peace...not after the hard part is over......but I guess after taking a big screamer, you probably smile, or at least give a hearty "WHEW!".  So I guess peace is in the eye of the beholder.....no, not the Bee-Holder.

2.  "Make someone's day.  Tell them how much you appreciate them"

I'm not sure if this makes many people's days....unless you're married to them, but I'm pretty sure you have to do more than that.  Because knowing you expecting women, you're probably not content with this after the first time it's said.  The first time was probably a "well wasn't that sweet".....but if we try to use that one more than once, we'd most likely get a "ok you un-original bastard, where are my roses?".  So my advice would be to time this one right......like in between paychecks, because it's a sure-fire guaranteed ONE TIME feel good phrase.  So it's like a life-line, but it needs to be used wisely and very strategically.

3.  "Dear Father, teach me how to share your kindness with everyone I meet"

Dear Father, better yet, teach me how to not get pissed off at all of those "fake-nice ass-kissing do-gooders" that I meet.  I know they don't act like that all of the time, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE THAT CRAPPY ALL OF THE TIME!!!!

Asa-llama-laka.....Bullshitter style~