THE BULLSHITTER

Take a short trip to a place that will inspire you. Learning, communicating and building enthusiasm in others should come easy today. A relationship that has been standing still will begin to take on a new dimension.

"Take a short trip to a place that will inspire you", like someone else's gene pool. This trip, depending on the compitency of the man, takes between 5 seconds to lengthy hourly sessions. Go ahead, and "build your enthusiasm in someone else", instead of just talking about it you no-ball pussy loser. I mean, just read above, this horoscope is screaming for you to buy a hooker, or a man-whore (for all you lonely ladies out there)....maybe it doesn't need to be that extreme...you could probably just grab the quiet guy/gal in the corner of the room....i'll leave that up to you. "should come easy today", your computer screen is pretty much talking shit to you, and telling you that you need to improve on your creativity and skills in the sack!

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2005/4/7

Today's Pisces Horoscope Analyzed......poorly.

@ 02:25 PM (55 months, 24 days ago)

Your Horoscope for April 7 , 2005

You should be off to the races when it comes to getting things done that will enhance your earning potential. Put in extra hours if necessary. Drum up help and put your creative ideas into play.

Off to the races. Here I go, off to the "Screw-off 500"....and it's a close one so far. So far the only thing right today is the hot date I have tonight, which will inevitably leave me broke and blue-balled.....off to the races indeed! I guess I can relate to the earning potential, because when you are sitting at a potential earning of "0", you have some potential. I could potentially kick my roommate's girlfriend in the box, and that definitely has some sort of earning potential.....like earning high-fives from peers for my good deed of "boxing" as I like to call it. I think the earning potential could be exponential from that one.....wow, I feel so wisened at this point.

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2005/4/1

Question of the Week: "Do you wipe sitting or standing?"

@ 01:39 PM (56 months, 13 hours ago)

This is a loaded question my friend, because it is very circumstantial to say the least. Though by the norm, I’m a “sit-n-wipe” kinda guy, I probably can muster up a few instances when the “stand-n-wipe” would be necessary, though uncomfortable and awkward. Say, if you happen to be sitting on a toilet that is flooding, you have no choice but to stand and wipe, or run and wipe, which is beyond the scope of this discussion. Or in the situation of “shitting in the woods”, because clearly there is no place to sit and wipe comfortably in the woods, just ask the bears. And of course you can’t count out the dangers of the “drunken stand-n-wipe”. The likelihood of the sway and swagger, or the “stand up too fast and pass out”, causing a fall and the ultimate destruction of anything surrounding the place of fecal discard, (not to mention the chances of ruining your favorite pair of slacks) is extremely risky. Therefore, in conclusion, if choice be mine, I definitely prefer the safer, more stable and less awkward “sit-n-wipe”.

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April 2005
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